


why did it have to be you?

by aceflowerchild



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Gen, Multi, everyones trans but its not mentiond bc it wasnt relevant to the plot but they are so fite me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 06:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11030592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceflowerchild/pseuds/aceflowerchild
Summary: Alex and Eliza pay John a visit.





	why did it have to be you?

**Author's Note:**

> if you've figured this out then congration. u done it. If not then enjoy lol.

“Be careful, okay?” Angelica warned, handing the two of them a ribbon to tie around the flowers. “And take care of him,” she added to Eliza in a low voice as Alex busied himself tying the flowers together. The sisters looked over to him and back at each other. Eliza nodded and smiled.

The drive was long, longer than Alex had remembered, although maybe it was that they had simply gone from another location that time. He still didn’t think that it should have taken so long.

Eliza had made a few feeble attempts at conversation earlier in the ride, but neither her nor Alex’s hearts were in it, and the rest of the drive was spent in an uneasy silence.

It seemed like forever to Alex until they finally arrived. Eliza had barely finished parking when Alex was unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the car.

“Alex, wait up!” Eliza called out, rushing to turn off the ignition and go after him. Surprisingly, he listened, and stopped in his tracks, bouncing his foot impatiently. Eliza jogged to catch up to Alex and they walked to the tall, wrought iron gates together.

It took a bit of searching, but they finally found the place, and slowly approached John’s grave.

Eliza stood back as Alexander approached the headstone, holding the flowers. Alex was grateful for that. He didn’t think he could handle having anyone that close during this. He slowly crouched down and placed the flowers in front of the stone with one hand, running his other hand on top of it.

“Hey John,” he said. “It’s… it’s been a while, huh?” The question went unanswered.

Alex swallowed thickly and readjusted his position on the ground. “I uh… I miss you, John. I know it’s been 2 years now, and it really shouldn’t still hurt this much, but… it does. It really fucking hurts. And sure, we’ve all been coping pretty well, but I don’t want to cope anymore. I just want you back.

“But I can’t have that. I know I can’t. I came to terms with that a long time ago. But I can’t help wanting either. And I just keep thinking ‘Why did it have to be you?’ ‘Why couldn’t I have been there?’ We all miss you John, we really do. And –and,” Alex took in a deep breath, trying to regain control of himself. He was not going to cry. Not yet at least. “And I guess I just want you to know… I love you. And I’ll never stop loving you, even when I’m old and dying and on my way to see you again.” He let out a short laugh, more of a bark than anything. “And I love Eliza too, just as much as I love you . And I know she loves you too. Goodbye John. See you.”

Alex stood and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to keep his tears in, but knowing it was futile. He stood back and let Eliza have her turn with the headstone. She took one of Alex’s hands and they made their way out of the graveyard in silence, as always.

Eliza drove home and on the way Alex fell asleep, his thought being _We’ll see him again, we have to. We have to._

**Author's Note:**

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i started this in like december im sorry. based on a prompt from a tumblr user i do not remember anymore. it was 'Why did it have to be you?' so if you see that in a post then that's where this sprang from. i really don't feel like linking my tumblr rn but if you wanna check it out, it's hckin-nerd but i expect nothing. seeya


End file.
